in the rotation…

First off, it’s rare for me to have two posts right back to back of one another. Even more rare that I’ve found time to actually sit and write anything. Seeing as how I’m a professional procrastinator, and I have like a bajillion other things to do, I seem to never have time to actually sit and write down what I want to say. I’ve toyed with the idea of several other topics, but I thought this one would be the most appropriate to discuss, seeing as how I’m relationship-oriented (had you figured that one out yet?) The topic of the “dating rotation” came up in conversation between one of my male friends and I as he was giving me some perspective on some things going on in my life. What he mentioned is that in his particular dating situations, he sometimes would have a rotation of of girls in his life, and that he would have them to call, or go out with, or kick it with, or what have you..he coined it the rotation. Now, I decided to go to my other friends and see what they thought about the notion that people have rotations when they’re dating, and I honestly got some pretty good feedback. Everyone I asked agreed that it’s natural for people to date more than one person at the same time, but one person didn’t think that everyone did it. I tend to agree with that person, simply because I’m a self-proclaimed bad dater.

But I digress. Do I think people have rotations? Yeah, I do…I’ve had a rotation back in my day…it wasn’t for a long time, and it wasn’t a whole lot of people, but I was talking to more than one person at once. Do I do it so much now? No, but I’m starting to think I probably should. As it was brought up in my social survey, it’s a good way to meet people and a good way to determine who suitable mates could be. Keep people around long enough, and you’ll eventually see who’s there for you and who’s not. I think the problem comes in when either a) sex is introduced into the rotation with more than one person or b) ninjas just decide to get greedy and want every member of the rotation to be on the same level. I’m personally of the subscription that sleeping with your entire rotation does nothing but make you look a) like a ho and b) like you have no idea what you want other than sex. If that’s all you want, then you have to be upfront with the people you’re dating/talking to, and let them know. I think honesty is one of the biggest components of having successful dating circles, and I think it’s one of the components that’s used the least in my opinion. When people get greedy, it leaves the potential for everyone to think that they’re number 1 if they’re being treated like number 1, when there may not even be any numbers at all…(again, I digress). If people get greedy in their rotations, feelings get involved, people get hurt, and it’s just all around a bad situation in my opinion. It could all be avoided with simple conversation, but sometimes those conversations are the hardest to have, ya know?

So to my blog readers out there, I pose some questions. Do/Have you had a rotation? If so, how did it work out for you? Do you think this “definition” of dating is just simply the same as regular ol’ dating or is having a rotation different? Have you ever found a full-fledged relationship from one of the members of your rotation?

Food for thought people…until next time…

  1. Dating multiple people at one time is not my cup of tea. It’s hard enough to get to know someone anyway but when you start juggling people around the facts start to get blurred and you forget who you said what to when. I’m a simple woman and like to keep my life as free from complication as possible so there won’t be a rotation for me.

  2. I’ve had a rotation before. It never really lasts very long at all because someone usually pulls ahead of the pack and has caught most of my attention. However, even that has never turned into anything serious. Right now, I can’t even find one man I’m interested enough in to date or actually ask me out somewhat respectfully.

  3. This is an interesting topic. My life has been spent in school so that’s where all of my dates have come from. In that environment, it’s easy to see someone around campus and spend time getting to know them without having to take them out. So for the longest, I was able to bypass dates.

    I did however have a rotation of women that I talked to/flirted with. In turn, dating became more exclusive for me. If you still had my attention after a while (I swear I’m not as egotistical as that sounded), then I’d take you out and put more time and effort into you. Taking you out on a date meant I wanted to impress you. Not her, you. So that’s where the rotation ended.

    At this point in my life, I have to branch out of the campus scene (aka my everyday routine) to meet and get to know eligible women, so dating will be less exclusive for me and will probably be subject to a rotation. But that’s not what I’m used to so we’ll see.

  4. I had a rotation before. It was one of those things that are all fun and games before someone’s feelings got in the way. And I actually just left the rotation. One by one, I told each member that it was fun while it lasted and now I’m solo dolo. Rotations aren’t my cup of tea but it seems like everyone is just doing it. The guys in my rotation most likely had their own circles going so I don’t blame em. Dating is scary to me but it seems like it’s merging with the whole rotation idea. I don’t even wanna get back out there but I gotta pick up my imaginary nuts and go for the gusto. Full fledged relationship? I had something close but distance got in the way, #seewhatIkindadidthere? *sigh*

    Great post Libra. I like a lot. ^_^

  5. Aside from the time that I had two boyfriends at once (#dontjudgeme) I’ve never had a rotation.

    For one thing, that’s something a lady should keep to herself and I’m not good at keeping my mouth shut.

    Secondly, I would probably get confused and start calling them by the wrong names a la Bleek Gilliam.

    Third, like my wifey said, I can’t even find one to date…much less multiples.

  6. Rotations are cool if you’re not looking for anything serious and if you can keep track of everything. But it’s not typically my cup of tea. I always find that I’m in a rotation when the “leader of the pack” isn’t giving me the amount of attention that I’d like. So basically I keep other guys around until they are no longer needed. (That makes me sound like a user but I can barely get one guy in the rotation these days so that’s unlikely lol.) And I’ve found that each guy in the rotation plays a specific role, not all of them are equal. Like I said there’s usually the “leader”, then there’s someone who you know will always be down to meet up or talk, maybe a third for “other activites”, and so forth. So I’m not a huge fan of them but they do come in handy sometimes. But I’ve never been in a rotation just for the sake of talking to multiple guys at once, just as a product of not being able to get the guy I actually want.

  7. Lol, when I hear “rotation” the first thing that comes to mind is a pitching lineup for a baseball team. But on a serious note, when you’re young and still feeling out what kind of person you want to be with, I think it’s okay. But like the person said above, the thing that usually happens in these situations is someone catches feelings first and somebody usually ends up getting hurt.

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